


A Match, Igniting

by penstrikesmidnight



Series: <1000 Word Challenge [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Extended Metaphors, M/M, Nostalgia, Post-Break Up, one reference to smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24479482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penstrikesmidnight/pseuds/penstrikesmidnight
Summary: Iwaizumi tries to only think about Oikawa during the dead of night. It's not the volleyball court that comes to mind, nor the schoolyard, but his old Jeep, Tooru in the passenger seat, knee propped on the console, hand dangling languidly out the window.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: <1000 Word Challenge [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1763206
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	A Match, Igniting

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "You make me want things I can't have."
> 
> This was definitely an experiment with language and perspective. The song I listened to on repeat while writing this was Light That Match by Down Like Silver, if you want to take a listen.

Iwaizumi tries to only think about Oikawa during the dead of night. It's not the volleyball court that comes to mind, nor the schoolyard, but his old Jeep, Tooru in the passenger seat, knee propped on the console, hand dangling languidly out the window.

They never got caught. Iwaizumi could do no wrong in his parents' eyes; Oikawa's screen-less window faced the street. Oikawa would text him a time _1:17, 12:49, 3:36_ , and when Iwaizumi would meet him at the jeep, he would already be seated as if he belonged there, ready for his newest thrill. 

Iwaizumi has had a hard time sleeping ever since Oikawa had interrupted his schedule that summer after high school, but he's learned the best ways to manage. But sometimes, like today, he would wake up, glance at the clock, and instantly be back there

_1:17, Oikawa kissing him for the first time, a match igniting in Iwaizumi's chest when Oikawa tells him_ you make me want things I can't have _, hoping maybe, maybe Iwaizumi has a chance_

_12:49, the road stretching endlessly in front of them, Oikawa leaning over and flicking off the headlights, standing on his seat with his hands in the air, his laughter drifting like smoke back to Iwaizumi, stoking the embers of his desire and his fear, because Oikawa is reckless with himself, and what does that mean for Iwaizumi, caught in the cross-hairs of his self-discovery?_

_3:36, Oikawa's skin glistening in the strange light of predawn and a half-moon as he bares himself to Iwaizumi for the first time, the soft sounds of the forest amplifying the wildfire Iwaizumi feels as he listens to Oikawa panting softly underneath him, realizing he wants this forever; knowing, now that the line has been crossed, that this will only end in a messy crash that will leave Oikawa unscathed but Iwaizumi burned forever_

Iwaizumi sighs, rubs at his eyes. It's been a long time since these memories swept over him with such force. He glances at the clock. 3:55.

Usually, he’d go to his balcony, stare across the Tokyo skyline, light a cigarette, and try to exhale the memories of Oikawa Tooru from his body. It never worked, but it calmed his nerves enough to get him ready to face the day, suppressed the memories until he has time to deal with them. But he's not at his apartment in Tokyo, he's at his parent's house in Sendai, and maybe that's the reason these memories are so present, close enough to touch.

In the past five years, Iwaizumi has tried everything. Sleeping pills, alcohol, partying. In college, he'd walked a fine line between recklessness and responsibility, as if Oikawa cared about what he was doing, as if living this way would show Oikawa he was enough. But that life was unsustainable, exhausting, and, eventually, he realized he'd spent years chasing the ghost of a boy that probably wasn't even real anymore.

It's a strange feeling, wanting something and knowing it's bad for you. Knowing you don't have the strength to fix it. It's the reason Iwaizumi had ignored both calls from Oikawa his last year of university, even though it had been all he'd wished for since that summer they'd spent together, since Oikawa had chosen an easier path than being with him. 

_You know what they'd say about me. It's not worth it, Iwa-chan. Besides, we were never really together anyway_.

It's now 4:13. If he hurries, he can catch the sunrise. He shouldn't do it.

He rolls out of bed, puts on his clothes from the day before, slips his keys off the hook, sneaks out of the house, shivers in the chill morning air. He feels like he's back in high school.

He doesn't have the jeep anymore, but he has a small, peppy car that he pushes close to 100 as he takes the turns he knows by heart. There are virtually no cars around, even less when he gets to the twisting roads up through the woods. He rolls the windows down, the cold wind roaring through the car. He hasn't been this reckless in years. His heart is burning.

The sky has lightened to a purple hue by the time he arrives at his destination. His senses come back to him. He stares out the windshield at where the sun is just starting to peek over the horizon. Oikawa used to love this part of their outings the most. It's the only time Iwaizumi remembers him being fully content.

_"The sunrise, it's, like, a sign. That everything's okay even after the darkest night. Cheesy, huh, Iwa-chan? But when I see it, I know I'll be able to work through whatever noise is in my head."_

Iwaizumi pulls out his phone, runs his fingers across the screen, stares at the now-pink sky. He's taken a few pictures of sunrises from the tops of other mountains, but never one from here.

He's learned the best ways to capture the images of the sun with his phone, what apps to use, what filters work best. It's like he's been preparing for this moment ever since he lost it. He doesn't even know if Oikawa's number is the same, but he sends the picture anyway. He's feeling reckless, daring. Maybe he's ready to heal instead of hide.

He's just turning the key in the ignition to start his trek home when his phone rings. He stares at Oikawa's name, at the picture of the two of them together from so long ago. His thumb hesitates over the accept button. He's built Oikawa up in his head for five years as untouchable. But now, he's in reach. Does he want it?

His thumb presses down, and he holds the phone to his ear. He can't say anything, but after a few seconds, he hears, "Iwa-chan?"

His voice, like a match, lighting Iwaizumi's dark world. "Hey, Oikawa. Can we talk?"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments/kudos always welcome!


End file.
